Jill is taking a break from spotlighting thoughtful, literate, compassionate, salt-of-the-Earth writers this week, instead turning her blog over to me, Eric John Baker… the person you might avoid sitting next to on a train because I just seem a little bit off.
Interesting facts about me:
I am ½ human, ½ wicked witch, and ½ mole person, and I am highly regarded for my mathematical expertise. Like Godzilla, I inexplicably live underwater despite being an air-breathing biped without a biological mechanism for deep-sea propulsion.
If you’re still reading, here’s the boilerplate:
I also work in an office building in New Jersey as an editor and a writer, churning out businessy stuff all day. Before you ask: No, I do not sound like Tony Soprano when I talk.
Jill invited me here today because I am a fellow WordPress blogger. If you visit my blog, you will find humorous grammar and punctuation lessons, writing discussion, and stuff about music and movies. And beards. And mole people.
I am also a musician and songwriter, serving as the guitarist and drummer of the two-man rock band, Full Blown Cranium. We released our first album, Cacophony of Weirdos, last year, and you can listen to sound samples here and here. I’m thinking of doing a solo record next.
My fiction writing falls into the category of Speculative (encompassing the horror, science fiction, and supernatural genres), though I prefer to think of my stuff as “twilight zonish.” That is, I don’t do much with monsters and space ships, instead setting my stories in the real world but with a twist on reality. These days, my main creative project is a novel, the first draft of which I have just completed. I have not settled on a title yet, but the plot involves three young girls facing off against street gangs, starvation, and a megalomaniacal sociopath after a global apocalypse kills every adult on earth.
Now, what you really came here for… My answers to 5 of Jill’s questions:
Q: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?
Why would I want to meet a dead person? They can’t even shake your hand much less say anything interesting, and, at best, they smell like dust. Clearly a living person is a wiser choice. I would want to meet a world-renowned astrophysicist and ask her if my theory on backward time travel makes any sense.
Q: What celebrity do you get mistaken for?
Once a day, I am mistaken for George Clooney. Then I realize it’s my reflection and remember that I’m the only one who ever makes that mistake. When it comes to other people mistaking me for a celebrity, I get a lot of, “Hey, aren’t you Judy Dench?” That, or R2D2.
Q: What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
Definitely climbing K2 in the Himalayas naked with a polar bear strapped to my back.
Wait… did you say what’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done or never done? The hardest thing I’ve ever done is work my way through college while raising a child. That was still much easier than climbing the world’s second tallest mountain naked with a polar bear strapped to my back, although I’m only speculating about the second thing, since, as I mentioned above, I’ve never done it.
Q: If you could visit any place in the entire world, where would it be?
Ancient Greece in the high classical period to see the Parthenon in its glory and to check out all the bronze masterpieces that were later melted down by short-sighted idiots.
Ha! You didn’t say it had to be now. Besides, I have a theory on backward time travel.
Q: Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don’t understand or comprehend?
I do not understand why so many women are attracted to men. We’re really quite shallow in character, we’re hairy like gorillas, we’re selfish, we’re blocky and lack appealing curves, we have whiskers, and we’re looking at their boobs when they aren’t paying attention.
Eric, you did not disappoint! Thanks for bringing your sense of humor to the spotlight this week. Stay tuned next week for Gwen Stephens.