“One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is to stop loving someone because they’ve stopped loving you.” ~ Author Unknown
“I don’t think this is working for me.” It’s been over twenty years since I’ve heard those words spoken to me or since I have spoken them to another person. These words can leave the person on the receiving end stunned. Recently, an e-mail from a dear friend rekindled the memories of how painful a break up can be. There were some issues in the relationship, but she was caught off guard when he ended it. Whether you’re a teenager or an adult, having your heart broken is a universal pain. No one is immune from a broken heart.
Break ups are difficult when you know things aren’t working out. You sense something is off and you fear you might be one more disagreement away from the end. When you are blindsided by the other person’s decision to end the relationship, it can bring you to your knees. You search for the red flags you might have missed and look for anything you could have done wrong. You’re left longing for answers. Many times, the questions will go unanswered.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers for my friend. She is a loving and beautiful person who does not deserve the pain she is feeling. Her heart has been shattered. I want to tell her the relationship was broken and her heart will love again, that life gets better. I want to give her a big hug, but she lives in another state, so for now, I’ll listen.
Through her tears, I’ll listen as she recounts the events of their last conversation and reminisces about their time together. Sometimes I might only hear whimpering through the phone, but I’ll keep listening because that is what friends do for each other.
Jill Weatherholt 
February 1, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Praying for your friend, Jill. Breakups are never easy, it seems.
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February 1, 2013 at 8:01 pm
Thank you, Heather! I appreciate the prayers.
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February 1, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Beautifully and poignantly written…wishing the best for your friend…
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February 1, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Thank you very much, Billy. I appreciate your kind words.
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February 1, 2013 at 9:48 pm
I hope whatever she lost is replaced by something better, whether it’s a healthier relationship or a period of self-discovery.
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February 1, 2013 at 11:53 pm
I hope so too, Eric. She deserves to be happy.
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February 2, 2013 at 12:39 am
All the best to you and your friend. Heartache is never easy.
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February 2, 2013 at 12:45 am
Thank you very much. She’s strong, given time, she’ll be okay.
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February 2, 2013 at 12:52 am
With time we are all better.
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February 2, 2013 at 3:21 am
A poignant post; my prayers are with your friend.
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February 2, 2013 at 11:59 am
Thank you, Anna. 🙂
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February 2, 2013 at 9:47 pm
Break up are hard for both sides regardless of whose FAULT it is. When this happens, and it seems to happen with greater frequency it’s about the support you can give, as a friend. To tell them you love them and are there when needed is the most important thing.
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February 2, 2013 at 10:26 pm
Well said, Steve. I appreciate your thoughts.
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February 3, 2013 at 12:21 am
Break ups are hard but great new beginnings! Hopefully onto better things for your friend.
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February 3, 2013 at 12:30 am
I believe she has much better things in her future. I think we both had friends on our minds when writing our posts this week. 🙂
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February 3, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Be strong for your friend and keep on listening. One day she’ll heal and look back on the wonderful support you’ve given her. You’re a true friend, that’s what love is. 🙂
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February 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm
Thank you, Jolyse. Yes, she will heal and I do believe she’ll find the right person. It’s difficult seeing her in such pain.
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February 7, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Listening is a pretty good remedy (and not only in matters of the heart).
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February 7, 2013 at 6:13 pm
So true. Listening without responding can be a great medicine. Thanks for reading!
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February 15, 2013 at 7:11 pm
I carry this little post-it in my wallet with a quote on it – I have no idea who wrote it – but here it goes: “It’s hard holding onto something you know may never be yours, but it is harder moving on when its everything you ever wanted”. Not certain why I just typed this; for some reason when I read this entry, I thought of it. Anyways, you are a great friend. Honestly, a great set of ears or eyes can make all of the difference in the world. she is luck to have you:)
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February 15, 2013 at 7:20 pm
That is a nice quote, Kim. I can see why you’ve held on to it. Thank you for your kind words. My friend has been there for me during difficult times in the 30+ years we’ve been friends, so it’s nice to return the favor.
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