I’ve spent the past week outlining my NaNoWriMo story and in complete misery. I’ve never spent so much time staring at a blank piece of paper or watching a cursor blink in my entire writing journey. The ideas are slow and I question why I’ve attempted something that is against my nature.
Despite the agony, I realize the reason I enjoy writing posts for my blog. I don’t have to define the internal and external goals of characters or make sure that each scene advances the plot point ~ I can just write. Ideas fill my head when I’m not trying create a road map for my words.
Outlining has made me question my ability and question why I’m participating in NaNoWriMo. One month ago I was looking forward to November with excitement, now I feel dread. My attempts to get the ticking clock out of my head have failed. I’m unable to stay focused and continually pop out of my chair to get more tea or clean something.
However, I will continue to press on until the start of NaNoWriMo and try to believe the outline will be worth the agony. I’m hopeful these prepaid struggles will make reaching my daily word count a little easier. If not, I’ll go back to my panster ways and enjoy writing again.