“Am I going blind?”
This was what I asked my ophthalmologist during my annual eye exam last week.
I’m weird about eyeballs. I could never wear contacts. The thought of touching my eyeball sends chills down my spine. As for the Discovery Channel episodes about eyeballs, can’t watch them.
Bright lights, drops, puffs of air, and the dilation readied me for the exam. The technician performed an array of tests. The finale was two photographs taken of my eyeballs. Spots stole my vision for a couple of minutes.
Finally, the doctor entered the room. We chatted briefly, and he took a seat in front of the computer to review my test results.
He scrolled through the screen before standing and turning off the lights. “I want to recheck a few things. Some of the readings might be incorrect.”
At first, I thought, okay, there’s always a chance for human error on the part of the technician. There was no error.
When the doctor asked me to lean forward, look through the lens, and read the two lines, I complied. The problem was, when I looked, I only saw one line.
“Are there two lines now?” I asked, blinking a few times.
“Yes. Let’s try it again,” he suggested.
My heart pounded in my chest. How can a writer write if she can’t see? How can I drive to my day job? Will I ever see my first book cover?
After a few adjustments by the doctor, I finally saw the two lines. I released a heavy breath and asked, “What’s wrong with my eyes? Why couldn’t I see the second line?”
He smiled and turned on the lights. “You were looking through lenses based on your current prescription. Your eyes have changed a lot since last year.”
In the end, the doctor showed me the pictures of my eyeballs on a giant screen, which gave me the willies. He said my arteries were in great health and there were no signs of macular degeneration or glaucoma.
With blurry eyes, I headed to the front desk to buy my new lenses. As I strolled out the door, I was relieved I wasn’t going blind. I was thankful for my good eye insurance that covered 100% of the over $400 exam, including the new lenses. I was also thankful that I only live one mile from my doctor’s office. Driving in bright sunlight after having your eyes dilated is blinding.
How are your eyes?
At the end of 2014, I found myself frustrated and full of self-doubt. When I sat down to write, the distractions took hold and nothing was accomplished. It was obvious I needed to regain my focus. Focus became my “one word” for 2015. Little did I know, when I chose my word, I would cling to it desperately as I advanced in a contest that required me to write an entire book in three and a half months. My limits tested, but I remained focused on the end goal.
As 2015 came to a close, and I thanked God for the amazing events that unfolded during the year, I realized I wanted to live 2016 and the years that follow, purposeful. In order to do this, an unwavering course of action is necessary. If I want to write another book, I will remain determined and stay the course.
Just as in years past, I won’t make any resolutions. Instead, I’ll have one grounding word, my all-encompassing word for 2016 is RESOLUTE.
“It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage that we move on to better things. ~ Theodore Roosevelt.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on resolutions, a single word or phrase. My one phrase for the year is DO IT AFRAID.
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~ Robert Brault
Wishing you all peace and joy in the new year! In my next post, I’ll reveal my one word for the year. Think about your one word..I’d love to hear it.
Would you take offense if someone called you a “Pollyanna?”
Years ago, a co-worker paid a visit to my office. She was experiencing personal difficulties in her life and needed to talk.
I listened as she went on about struggles in her marriage. She later paused and asked, “What do you think about that?” When it comes to matters of the heart, I’d learned years before, it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself.
She looked me in the eyes and waited for an answer. Did she want me to agree with her? That was something I couldn’t do, so I played it safe. I suggested she try to focus on the positive things in their relationship, and in her own life.
“Jill, you’re such a Pollyanna!” she snapped.
I’m sure she never intended to hurt my feelings, but she did.
According to Merriam-Webster, a Pollyanna is “a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything.” Is there something wrong with this attitude? By her accusatory tone, it appeared I was wrong.
It’s funny, many years have passed since that day, but I remember it like it was yesterday. At the time, I did take offense. Now, I think of it as a compliment. I’d much rather live my life being thought of as a Pollyanna than a curmudgeon. Living that way has carried me through some difficult times.
Do you feel comfortable offering relationship advice to friends or co-workers?
**This will be my last post for 2015. Thank you all for a wonderful year. You’re the best! Be safe and have a fantastic holiday season! <3
I hadn’t planned on posting this week, but yesterday, I received an email from a Harlequin editor who works in their UK office. She also runs the SOLD! Blog for Harlequin and wanted to let me know my CALL STORY was going live today. I thought I’d share the link, if you’re interested in reading and commenting.
I’d like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American friends and their families.
Announcing His Revenge by John W. Howell is now available in paper and ebook on Amazon and KDP Select
The sequel to My GRL titled His Revenge is available and a new story continues where My GRL left off.
His Revenge is available in the US in Paper and Kindle editions
In Canada in Paper and Kindle editions
In the UK in Paper and Kindle editions
Here is the blurb:
America loves John Cannon, its newest hero, and the President wants to present him with the highest civilian medal for bravery for saving the Annapolis midshipman from a terrorist plot to destroy them. While in Washington for the award ceremony, John unwillingly becomes an accomplice in another plan by the same group to attack the credibility of the US President and the stability of the worldwide oil market. There is no way out as John either becomes a traitor to America or causes thousands of innocent people to die if he refuses.
The second John J Cannon Thriller moves from a barrier Island off the coast of Texas to Washington DC, then to Northern California, and finally to Ecuador. John is on the receiving end of an offer he cannot, refuse. His avowed enemy Matt Jacobs now wants John to help him shake the reputation of the US in the world political arena and disrupt confidence in the government at home. If John refuses, Matt plans to murder innocent Americans including John’s latest relationship. John’s only way out is to pretend to go along with the plan and hope for a miracle.
Excerpt from Chapter one
The water rushes over my head. I’m sinking and don’t know why. With my breath held, I have trouble stopping the air from escaping since the pressure drives the air up and out. I try to keep my mouth closed, but the water pressure pushes the air out more and more. Will I pass out? In the distance, the light is dim. To rise to the surface in time might not be possible─I need to breathe right now. Toward ending the pain in my chest, my rambling mind rationalizes taking a deep breath—even knowing it will end my life. In conflict with the irrational thought of ending it, my body won’t let me suck in the water, as it fights to retain the little bit of oxygen left to fuel my brain.
The despair is nearly overwhelming, and my mind considers other ways to battle the feeling. What more could I have done with my life? The pressure becomes more intense, and I’m about to lose it all, and I decide I’ve lived the way I wanted and have no regrets. I close my eyes and hear only the roar of the sea. I’m so tired. Exhausted. Sleep will fix everything, and I want to give in
About the author
John’s main interests are reading and writing. He turned to writing as a full-time occupation after an extensive career in business. John writes fictional short stories and novels as well as a blog at http://www.johnwhowell.com. John lives on a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of south Texas with his wife and spoiled rescue pets. He can be reached at his e-mail email@example.com, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/john.howell.98229241or Twitter at @HowellWave
His first novel, My GRL is available on Amazon and wherever e-books are sold.